For last month’s Me and Mine post I shared the very last picture of us as a family of three (taken when I was in early labour, haha!). So this month, I had to share our first picture as a family of four. Baby A arrived at 3.44am on 1st August- I’ll share his birth story with you soon, once I’ve got round to writing it- and our first family picture was taken later that day when little T came to meet his baby brother. I look awful, but I had been awake for 36 hours by this point!
This first month as a family of four has been somewhat challenging. It can be an interesting juggling act, balancing the very different needs of a 2 year old and a newborn. I’m incredibly lucky because my Mum only works during term time and has been coming round nearly every day since S went back to work. I’ve only actually had three days on my own with them so far, so I think I’m in for a bit of a shock come September!
When people ask how we’re getting on, I say that the baby is easy (feed, change, sleep, repeat), it’s the toddler that’s hard work. Little T has generally been a good boy but he’s also 2 years old and going through a massive change in our family dynamics so it’s bound to affect his behaviour. He doesn’t do as he’s told a lot of the time and has been hitting and throwing things a lot more than he normally would. Combine this with my much shorter temper than normal and I’ve been shouting a lot more than I would like.
This has also caused some friction between myself and S. They say that the first year with a new baby is the toughest for any relationship, and I can certainly agree. I think when you throw a toddler into the mix, especially one who is such a Mummy’s boy that he sometimes won’t even let Daddy change his nappy, let alone give him cuddles and kisses, it is a recipe for disaster. But I’m certain that the ship of our marriage will be tough enough to weather the storm.
This month has also been tough for a different reason. My Gran, who I wrote about in the post ‘Living in the present: dementia, my family and me‘, passed away peacefully last week, a few days before her 89th birthday. As she lived in a nursing home, we were advised not to take the baby to meet her until he was 3 months old due to the risk of him getting an infection. So she never met her third great grandson and I never had a chance to say goodbye. But she did live long enough to hear he had been born and also to learn that her granddaughter (my cousin) had won an Olymipic gold medal.
Reading this post back, it sounds quite negative. It has been tough, there’s no denying that, but it’s also been incredible and filled with some of the most memorable times of my life. That moment when you hear your baby cry for the first time. Bringing home our second blue bundle. Getting to know a brand new little person and enjoying the newborn baby snuggles while there’s still nothing they would rather do than sleep on your chest. Seeing T become the most loving and gentle big brother.
Obviously I am sad about my Gran, but in a way it has been a release. She lived with a horrible illness for several years and we watched helplessly as she lost more and more of what made her ‘her’. There’s a reason they call dementia ‘the long goodbye’.
Hopefully next month we will have settled into our new rhythm a bit more and I’ll be able to write a more positive Me and Mine post.
How has your August been? How did you find the early days with your second child? I love reading your comments.