Bump diary: week 19

I’ve not really written much about my feelings about this pregnancy since I wrote in my week 5 update that I felt as though we had made a huge mistake. I really had no idea how we would cope with a second child, especially when some days I find one child a big enough challenge! I also thought we would be ruining little T’s life.

Fortunately I didn’t feel like that for very long (that feeling was soon taken over by intense nausea and exhaustion!). But I have since realised that little T is going to be the most amazing big brother. He absolutely adores his baby cousin and, although he’s very shy around other toddlers/older children, he loves being around babies. He loves talking to them, kissing them gently, and showing them things. He also has some understanding that there is a baby in Mummy’s tummy, he loves kissing and talking to my tummy. I realise it’s not all going to be smooth sailing, however. Little T will have to get used to sharing Mummy and Daddy’s attention, and his love of babies may wear a little thin when there’s one there day in day out.

As for how we will cope, well I think we just will. The newborn days are a recent enough memory that I know it’s going to be hard, but I also know that looking back it was over in the blink of an eye. Little T sometimes has bad nights and on nights like that I think, ‘if T wakes up every two hours and I have a newborn, when will I actually sleep?’ But I’ve survived severe sleep deprivation before and I can do it again. Plus the baby is due in July and my mum will be off work until September as she works in a school so I’m sure I will be able to call on her for babysitting duties so I can get some sleep in those tough early weeks!

In other news, I went back to the GP about the lump in my boob as she said to get it checked again in a couple of weeks. I saw a different doctor and she was absolutely positive that it was nothing to worry about but she offered to refer me to the hospital so I can be 100% reassured that it’s nothing. I decided to accept the referral as otherwise it would be in the back of my mind every time I looked after a young breast cancer patient at work. So I’ve been referred under the ‘2 week wait’ for suspected cancer, even though my GP is certain that it’s not cancer.

18 weeks

20 weeks

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