On Friday T and I met up with two of my ‘mummy friends’ that I met when I was on maternity leave, along with their little ones, F and J. We went to the ‘Rhymetime’ session at our local library that involves lots of singing and silliness and toddlers running amok (with my one in particular having a penchant for sprinting towards the door when I least expect it).
After the session, as T, F and J climbed on the wooden train in the library, we decided to wander into town for some lunch. After some shenanigans involving climbing and pretending to drive the train, we headed to a favourite local cafe. There was heavenly signing, harp music and a light shining down from above when all three toddlers sat patiently in their highchairs while we drank hot coffee and gossiped.
There are six of us in our little group of mummies, although one of them has just emigrated to Dubai (sob). These ladies helped me to survive my maternity leave. We met up every week and talked about standard mummy topics: weaning, teething and the big one, sleep. We laughed, we commiserated, we drank tea and braved the dreaded soft play. We talked about grown up things, shared birth (horror) stories, went out drinking on my first ‘mummies night out.’
They made me feel like I was actually doing ok at this whole mummy thing. They always had my back, and they made me realise that nobody’s perfect. When I shamefully admitted to shouting at my baby because he Just. Wouldn’t. Sleep. two of the others immediately chimed in with, ‘yes, I did the same thing.’ I don’t know what I would’ve done without them.
If you’d told me when I was pregnant that I would meet this amazing group of women and make new friends I would have laughed in your face. I am truly terrible at meeting new people (probably because I laugh in people’s faces when they tell me something improbable). I am the most shy person I know. The thought of baby groups would have brought me out in a cold sweat (still does).
But somehow at the post-natal sessions for first time mums run by our health visitors, something incredible happened. Even through our sleep-deprived fog, we somehow recognised kindred spirits in each other’s sick-stained, not-showered-in-days, I’m-so-tired-I-may-actually-just-f*cking-die, new mummy expressions. In the sh*tstorm that is new motherhood, we clung to one another, the seeds of friendship being sown during the numerous coffee mornings, playdates and chats on our ‘Baby Club’ Whatsapp group.
Just in case you’re wondering, the miracle of three toddlers sitting still didn’t last long. There was one meltdown, two climbing on sofas, one refusal to eat and copious amounts of food on the floor, but it was fun while it lasted.
I’m joining in with the lovely Mum Muddling Through’s brand new #CoolMumClub linky, because our little group of friends is one cool mums’ club!
Brilliant, I love to hear a positive story of maternity leave friendship. I can’t imagine how lonely I would of felt without my ‘coolmumclub’ x thanks for linking up lovely xx MMT #coolmumclub
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I didn’t realise at the time how lucky I was, but they really made my maternity leave- I would have been so lonely without them. Thanks for hosting 🙂 xx
It’s great that you have found maternity buddies. I had a work colleague who was on mat leave at the same time as me and it was great to have someone to compare notes with. Yay for mum friends!
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They are awesome, I don’t know what I’d have done without them x
I feel this way about my NCT group I have made the best of friends with them and some weeks even now our eldests are now 4 I couldn’t survive without them. I say to all of my new expecting parents to pay for NCT not for the classes but to make friends who are expecting at the same time as you.
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Wow, that’s great that you’re still friends 4 years down the line! I didn’t realise how much I would need mum friends until I had them x
Awww, reminds me of when my daughter was a baby (10/11 years ago!). I met a group of mum at Tumble Tots and we did the things you mentioned. A few of them even go to the same school as my daughter so it’s nice to still be around them 🙂
Gemma xx
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That would be so amazing if I still saw them in 10 years time! I can’t imagine my little T as an 11 year old though- scary stuff! xx
Thanks for your thtuhgos. It’s helped me a lot.
Reading posts like this make surfing such a pluaesre
Oh this is something that I missed. I didn’t join an NCT group before so I didn’t get to know other mummies like me. This is something that I regret a lot so now that my second daughter is 14 months I will try to join some baby clubs around the area as I think it is super important to know other mummies that are experiencing the same than me! 🙂 xx
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I didn’t do NCT, so for someone as shy as me, it’s nothing short of a miracle that I actually managed to make some mummy friends! I hope you meet some nice mummies at the baby groups xx